The 'Problem' (Kyman)
by Maybe.I.Should.Try.To.Write
Summary: A three part one shot on KYMAN! 3 I love this couple!
1. Chapter 1

"Attention. Attention please." Cartman spoke into a megaphone in the cafeteria. The noisy cafeteria made it hard for Cartman to be heard however slowly everyone dropped their convocations and was staring curiously at a passive Eric Cartman who stood on the head dinner table at the front. Kyle blinked up at him in bewilderment, what's the fat ass doing now?

Stan and Kenny glanced at Kyle questionably, who shrugged and went back to eating his fruit salad. Whatever the idiot had to say it probably won't be of much meaning.

"Well, I brought you all here today-" Cartman began, his voice clear and serious.

"Does he know we are in the cafeteria?" Stan asks confused, to himself. Kenny hushes him, wanting to know what Cartman has to say.

"- to bring to your attention a large and dangerous problem."

Kyle looked up, his curiosity getting the better of him. Silky soft whispers traveled around about what the problem may be, and why it would be dangerous. Kyle stared at the serious Cartman intently; he doubted this 'problem' was going to be anyway as serious as he was acting. As his classmates continued to exchange looks of confusion across the room Cartman continued.

"I know, I know. You all already know what this is going to be about because we've all seen it. My advice is not to worry, help will be at hand soon if I have anything to say about it."

Stan turned to Kyle wide eyed. "Do you have any idea what fat ass is on about?"

Kyle shrugged, shaking his head. His dumbfounded expression matched many others in the room, except Kyle knew that this was going to be stupid.

"Right," Cartman brought the attention back to himself, "Now that we are all on the same level of understanding of this problem, I would like to share with you all what I taught myself on how to handle these situations."

Everyone was silent as Cartman spoke. All equally as puzzled as what this 'problem' might be. The once loud chatty students were not quietly sat staring at Cartman who paced across the table he was standing on. Cartman knew what he was doing was right.

"I said to myself, what would Jesus do?" Cartman told his class mates, explaining his experiences with this 'problem'. Kyle's jaw dropped. Jesus?! Stan and Kyle glanced at each over with matching suspicion. Everyone else (especially Butters who was leaning in his seat towards Cartman) was feeding off everything he said.

What is going on? Kyle thought to himself, a little irritated that everyone was acting like Cartman was God showering his words of wisdom down on them. Kyle could guarantee this 'problem' will just be some stupid over dramatic idea Cartman has that will probably be offensive to more than one person.

"What would Jesus do?" Cartman repeated, "Well, I know. I know what Jesus would do – he'd take a stand and kick their ARSE'S!"

On the last word he stomped his foot onto the table which caused his audience to dramatically gasp and lean backwards into their seats.

Awh c'mon! Kyle thought angrily, Everyone knows Cartman is a dumb ass! Why are they taking what he is saying so seriously! It's going to be idiotic, he knew it!

"And you know why? Because Judas was one of them! And what did Judas do? He killed Jesus, that's what! The lying cheating bastard!"

Now Kyle was truly confused on what Cartman could possibly be ranting about. He was more annoyed at the fact he had managed to make his classmates putty in his hands. Goddammit!

"I'm talking about of course," Cartman continued, before pausing a brief second for the full dramatic impact. He had everyone – excluding Kyle of course. His eyes landed on the Jew and he smirked. Time to drop the bomb. "The Gingers."

Almost instantly Kyle exploded, slamming his hand on the dinner table he was sitting at, ceasing the muttering that had gone through the cafeteria like a wave when Cartman revealed the 'problem'. Cartman had to hide his victorious smirk as the Jew stood up, pushing his chair away from him and glaring violently at Cartman.

"FAT ASS! There's nothing wrong with ginger's you stupid son of a bitch!"

Cartman clasped his hands to his chest with his megaphone resting on his slightly chubby wrist through a piece of lace. He nodded as if sympathetic of the lack of Kyle's knowledge, understanding the effect it had on an already furious Kyle. He had to bite the insides of his cheeks to prevent laughing his arse off at him.

"Kahl, we all know that gingers have no souls. It's simple Science. Everyone evil is ginger."

Kyle's classmates nodded in agreement, under Cartman's spell after falling for his words. Kyle was seething, his eyes practically shooting venom at Cartman.

"Listen here fat ass – you know DAMN well that gingers have souls and you're only doing this because you don't like me!"

"Oh, but Kahl, don't you see." Cartman smiled, making it look innocent for his audience, but to Kyle a sarcastic cynical twisted one instead. Kyle growled under his breath. "How angry you are right now? Heavy breathing, glaring eyes, clenched fists and a threatening stance. And let's not forget your fiery red hair. You're showing signs of a mentally insane evil person."

Kyle was ready to launch onto Cartman and knock that stupid sarcastic smirk off his face but he was better than that. He had morals, unlike that dumb ass, and so instead he breathed in and out in order to calm himself down. He will resolve this with a sensible and peaceful appearance.

He glanced over at Stan in plea for him to stand up for him. Stan sighed heavily, before standing up as well across from Kyle. Everyone's eyes glanced between Kyle and Stan and Cartman like it was a show down.

"C'mon Cartman." Stan tried to reason, "Kyle may be ginger but he's probably one with a soul. We all know that he wouldn't hurt anyone."

Kyle at first nodded his head fiercely in agreement, before Stan's words actually sunk into his mind. His attention turned to Stan.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Kyle exclaimed almost in disbelief of his best friend, "You actually believe in the 'Gingers-have-no-soul' crap Cartman is saying!"

Stan shrugged uneasily, glancing at Kenny who distracted himself with his half eaten sandwich. Stan licked his lips. "Well, surprisingly he does have a point."

"WHAT!?" Kyle barked, "Are you serious?" Stan looked down bashfully, unable to meet Kyle's steely gaze. His eyes swiftly moved to the rest of his class mates who all averted their eyes or stared at him in new light as if he was the evil man Cartman was bull shitting about. Finally, his eyes met the chocolate brown ones of the monster that started it. He glared with as much hatred as he could muster. "You fucking lunatic! Tell everyone you're making it up!"

Cartman bat his eyes innocently, "But Kahl, why would I ever make up something as serious as this?"

Kyle clenched his teeth, and once more he looked at Stan for support who flailed his arms helplessly, unable to make a decision of whose side he is on. Eventually Kyle had enough.

"FINE." He growled, grabbing his rucksack and swinging it over his shoulder, "Fine. I mean, you've known me for years and I guess I didn't think one word from this unreliable racist fat ass would make you suddenly think I'm some sort of ginger demon but whatever fine. Be that way."

Pushing through the tables and chairs he stormed towards the exit of the cafeteria. He was livid – so angry that he knew if he looked up and saw that victorious smug smirk on that stupid racist he would probably attack him. He clenched and unclenched his fists, just wanting to get out the room. But before he could reach the doors Cartman was there, standing in front of them. Kyle's face heated in anger.

"Cartman. Back. The. Fuck. Out. The. Way." Kyle managed to say in a shaky voice, trying his best to keep calm. Cartman smirked at him, batting his eyes in his stupid fucking mock innocent way. Kyle knew that if he reacted in any violent way Cartman would just use it as more evidence against him and his ginger locks. So he just needs to suck it up.

"I'm sorry Kahl, but I can't let you leave."

"Why?" Kyle questioned coldly. Cartman opened his arms wide.

"Why Kahl, you're just not safe for the public. We'll just be as big of a monster as you if we let you out."

Just count to ten, Kyle tried to calm himself down in order not to punch Cartman unconscious. He can imagine it clearly in his mind, grabbing Cartman's head and throwing it into the metal door. Smashing his face so hard that his teeth knock out and he's pleading with him to let go. Kyle held onto these imaginary images in order to say what he said next without blowing a fuse.

"Cartman." Suck it up Kyle! "Please move out of my way. I would be grateful if you did as I want to get to my next class."

"Kahl I am afraid I'm not allowing you to leave this room."

Kyle's eyes turned to slits. "I will fucking beat you till you bleed to death if you do not move from the doors right now you Nazi fat ass."

Cartman clicked his tongue, and smiled sympathetically however Kyle could see the evil gleam in his eyes which told him Cartman knew exactly what he was doing. "Look at you Kahl. Being taken over by your red devilish hair. He's getting angrier." Cartman's voice raises, no need to use the megaphone when everyone's attention was on us anyway, "I think we should lock him in the storage cupboard before he explodes."

Kyle's face dropped. No fucking way.

"Lock him in the storage cupboard," Stan said, his eyebrows furrowed. "That's seems a little harsh. It's Kyle after all I doubt he'll hurt anyone."

"Yeah…" Kenny agreed, chiming in too. "Cartman don't you think your taking this too far?"

"Too far? Guy's I know how lethal Kahl can be."

"To be fair, Cartman." Token said carefully, "I've never seen Kyle do anything evil."

A few other of his class mates murmured in agreement.

That's because I'm not! Kyle wanted to scream at his fellow class mates for believing in Cartman's shit but managed to control his temper and let his class decide between them what to do. He'll stand up for himself if things get out of hand.

Cartman's face was getting a little red as he was losing some of his supporters. "Kahl is evil, GODAMMIT!" Cartman paused, regaining back his calm act. "Do you even know what type of ginger Kahl is?"

The class exchanged curious looks, including Kyle. I wonder what other bullshit Cartman will make up, Kyle thought a little apprehensively.

"He's the worst of them all. The same Judas was. He's a _Jew_ Ginger."

Everyone around Kyle gasped while he stomped his foot on the ground after finally being pushed over the edge.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?" He screamed, pointing a finger at Cartman, "You fucking asshole! Stop ripping on me for being ginger and Jewish – it's not funny fat ass!"

"No, no it is not." Cartman said solemnly, however he needed to jab his nails deep in his skin in order not to lose it and burst out in laughter, "You being cursed with ginger hair and Jewish blood is not a laughing matter at all."

It was silent for a moment.

"So who wants to help me shove Kahl in the storage cupboard?"

"FUCK YOU CARTMAN! No one is locking me in a cupboard fat ass!" Kyle snarled determined, "Now moves the hell out of my way I'm leaving for my next class!"

When Cartman shook his head and nobody stood up for him Kyle took a few strides towards Cartman till he was a few inches away. Cartman took this as his cue. "GUYS! Guys! Someone help me he's lost control! HE'S GOING TO KILL US ALL – Quick!"

Before Kyle could protest against that unfair ridiculous comment, hands wrapped around Kyle's arms and pulled him away from Cartman. He squirmed in them, wanting to get out of their locked hands and get the hell out of the cafeteria. The bell was about to ring soon! He decided to voice out his thoughts.

"Guys this is so stupid! The bells about to ring we are going to be late for class!"

"Yeah," Kyle was relieved to hear Stan's voice. Kyle's best buddy would always come to save him. "Cartman your being a bit of a dick, Kyle has never really hurt anyone."

"Yeah!" Kyle agreed, "This is totally unnecessary."

He continued to struggle out of the hands of Butters, Clyde and Craig who held their iron grips steadily. Kyle sighed, getting tired already of Cartman's antics. Cartman could see that his prey was weakening …but so was his supporters. The sooner the Jew Ginger was in the cupboard it will be fine.

"C'mon boys! Get him in the cupboard before he attacks you too!" Cartman ordered and although people around him look a little distressed now about Kyle going in the cupboard nobody said anything.

"Dude, I really think you're taking this too far." Stan commented, protesting about Kyle going into the cupboard. He walked nearer to Kyle in order to try and save him.

Cartman glared at the hippie angrily, "Stan, stay OUT of this! Unless you're secretly one of them too!"

Stan, not wanting the same treatment as his friend argued back, "No, no of course not…but I don't think Kyle is evil. C'mon you all must know that too." Stan addressed his classmates who all shrugged uncomfortably.

"I guess…" Wendy muttered. Bebe who had her arms linked with Wendy agreeing as well with a supporting nod of the head. "But he did go pretty wacko when Cartman outed him for being a ginger."

Kyle's face burned. "Well, yeah! He's always ripping on me for being ginger for no reason!"

Cartman thought he was losing control of his classmates and he didn't like it. "The reason is to protect you guys from the dangerous ginger – now shove him in the cupboard!"

Craig, Clyde and Butters now unsure whether this was the right thing to do hesitated, but with one confident glare from Cartman began to drag Kyle to the cupboard at the back end of the cafeteria.

"FUCK YOU CARTMAN!" Kyle bellowed into the cafeteria as he struggled desperately to get out of their grips. They were seriously going to lock him in the cupboard? Lessons were starting soon! They can't just shove him in there! "MAKE THEM LET GO OF ME ASSHOLE!"

Kyle heard Stan demanding them to let him down and arguing with Cartman but his main priority was how to get out of this stupid situation. He was still boiling with anger – There was nothing wrong with Gingers! Or being Jewish! Fat ass Nazi thinking he can just discriminate against him. It wasn't right!

The rants in his head didn't stop Kyle from being shoved into the small storage cupboard however. Kyle went to storm out angrily of the cupboard, in disbelief that he was actually in this situation.

"CARTMAN I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL Y-"

The door of the storage cupboard slammed shut in his face and Kyle was left in darkness. He stood there for a moment, frozen, unable to actually accept that twenty minutes ago he was fine eating his fruit salad with his mates and now he was in here, people fearing he was some ginger devil. What the fuck!?

They can't just leave him in here! The bell was about to ring – he needed to get to his English class! Fucking Cartman! Kyle edged nearer to the door in the darkness, hoping that maybe they didn't lock it. His hand reaching for the handle he cursed realizing that they did. He slowly slid down the door on his back, sitting down leaning on it when he got to the ground.

How can I love someone who puts me in fucking cupboards? Stupid racist pig.

"Cartman let Kyle out of there! He's done nothing wrong!"

Kyle sat up straight, pressing his head against the door. He could hear what was going on. Yes, it was muffled but at least he'll be able to know what is happening outside this goddamn crowded dark cupboard.

"Stan! Don't you dare unlock that cupboard! Kahl is a threat to society! Have you seen how red his hair is? Not to mention he's a good for nothing Jew! I wouldn't be surprised if he turned out to be the leader of his evil Ginger cult!"

Kyle cursed under his breath, his face screwing up in anger at the spiteful things Cartman was saying.

"Cartman, you're only saying these things because YOU don't like Kyle! Kyle has a soul, other ginger's might not, but he has!"

Kyle decided to let it slip that his friend had still bought into the whole no soul crap. At least he was standing up for him, something he can't say for his other friends.

"I agree with Stan, Cartman." Kenny voiced out, but he must have been standing further away as Kyle had to strain his ears to hear what he was saying. "Kyle isn't evil."

"This is what I get for trying to protect you guys!" Kyle heard Cartman exclaim and he rolled his eyes irritably. Why does Cartman have to be such an asshole all the time?

Suddenly the shrill of the bell could be heard, loud and clear even in the cupboard. Kyle rattled the handle in order to get out as he heard people shuffling past. What?! They can't just leave him in here! What the fuck!?

Angered by just being abandoned he slammed himself onto the door.

"Hey guys! Let me out! Jokes over!" When he only heard passing voices he started to panic. "STAN!? KENNY!? TOKEN?! LET ME OUT NOW! PLEASE!"

Kyle paused for a minute. No answer.

You have to be fucking kidding me! Kyle thought angrily, his hands clenched by his sides. "GUYS GET ME OUT!"

He waited for a moment and he thought he could here distant chanting and yells but he couldn't have been sure. After five minutes they stopped and Kyle slumped himself against the door again.

The storage cupboard was a tiny space, with a load of useless crap on shelves and boxes dotted around. Kyle couldn't sit comfortably, there was always something jabbing into his body, he realized. It was especially difficult with the room being so dark. He had tried searching for a light switch or a lamp but it seemed there was none. There must be a light switch outside, thought Kyle logically, and a little frustrated that he couldn't reach it from inside here.

He worked out that about two boys at the most could fit in here and even that would be a rather tight squeeze. They'd be practically sat on top of each over and have nemourous things poking into their sides. Not that anyone was going to come in the cupboard with him, Kyle thought.

When will Cartman let him out?

The question brought worry to Kyle and he wrapped his arms around his knees biting his lips. He was already getting a little claustrophobic and the whole situation gave him a tiny bit of fear. He had presumed Cartman would let him out at the end of the day, but who knows? Cartman hated his red headed Jewish self and Kyle wouldn't be surprised if he left him there. Kyle let out a tiny whimper at the thought of being left here by himself. He didn't like to think of himself as weak but the Jewish boy really didn't like it in this tight enclosed space and wanted to get out.

"It'll be fine." He muttered to himself, trying to soothe his rising panic, "Stan and Kenny will let me out. They wouldn't just leave me here."

Kyle let out another shuddering breath, playing with his fingers. I wonder what time it is? How many more minutes it is till he's allowed out. If anybody comes at all.

Starting to freak himself out, he wrapped his arms tightly around his legs brought it to him so he ended up being curled into a little ball.

"Stay calm." He murmured, "Even if they didn't let you out the cleaners will. They must be some cleaning supplies in here they use after school."

Oh what was he kidding, this school didn't have cleaners!

It was then that the cupboard door was thrust open, letting light pool in the dusty cupboard. Kyle yelped in fear, jumping back as he did so and landing onto a box of pencils. A immature annoying laugh above him told Kyle it was the brown eyes little monster himself.

"Well, well Kahl I see you've made yourself at home."

**~First attempt at a story so please don't leave too much hurtful comments and if you read this and enjoyed it, which I doubt you have done, thank you SO much :D~**


	2. Chapter 2

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Kyle hollered, his fury reaching the high point. Kyle couldn't even put into words his anger when he saw Cartman towering above him smirking smugly. He gritted his teeth, "I-I- you've REALLY outdone yourself this time you bastard!"

Cartman started to laugh at the rumpled Kyle, making his anger uncontrollable. Kyle attempted lunging at Cartman, catapulting onto his tummy (which had muscled up since going into high school however was still slightly chubby) so he got knocked down. It worked! Cartman not expecting such a violent reaction stared wide eyed as he fell to the floor. Flustered he tried knocking off a violently furious Kyle who was flinging punches at him viciously.

"Get the hell off me Jew!"

"No fucking way!" Kyle refused, his hands still raining on his body, "You lock me in this tiny dark cupboard for what I am guessing the whole afternoon all because I have red hair! You fucking moron! Do you know how low that is?"

"Don't forget I also did it because you are a dirty Jew too." Cartman replied smartly and Kyle roared in frustration. Cartman secretly smiled in pleasure at his reaction.

Cartman tried blocking Kyle's blows with his beefy hands, squinting every time one aimed for his head. The Jew boy weighed nothing as he straddled on top of him and Cartman found himself worrying if he ate enough, much to his distaste. Why would he even care about the greedy Jew? Especially in this situation!

With this new found disgust of worrying for Kyle he managed to fling him off his body, and Kyle landed on another cardboard box, banging his head on the metal shelf above with a hiss. While Kyle was down for now Cartman decided to snip in one more snide comment before making his exit.

"Looks like my red headed Jew hasn't learnt his lesson to control his evil ginger side," Cartman sniffed, using his mock innocent act he used when talking to his class mates. "You'll have to just stay in here a little longer."

Kyle blinked up at Cartman for a moment processing his words. Just as Cartman put his hand on the handle of the door that was slightly ajar to exit he was leapt on by an enraged Kyle again. Falling backwards, he pushed the door shut with him.

They toppled into darkness, the light now vanishing along with the only route of escape. Now that door was shut there was no way out but to wait till somebody else opened it. Kyle, who had the whole afternoon to adjust to the dark could easily see the squirming fat ass below him and grinded his teeth. Before Kyle could open his mouth Cartman beat him too it.

"You fucking stupid kike! How the hell are we going to get out of here now?!" Cartman's annoyed face and even more annoyed voice made Kyle smile above him, but that soon turned to confusion as he furrowed his eyebrows.

"What do you mean? You locked it, you get us out!"

"No dumbass! When you shut the door it locks itself! You need someone from outside the cupboard to open it!"

Kyle at first just stared blankly down at Cartman before his fury once again came as fast as a lightning bolt. "YOU ASSHOLE! This is ALL YOUR FAULT! I cannot BELIEVE it!"

"What do you mean it's my entire fault?" Cartman said outraged into the darkness, he knew Kyle was sitting on him by the light weight he could feel on his waist however couldn't see his face. In fact, he couldn't see anything. "It's YOUR fault for being a Jewish Jersey freak!"

"Shut up Cartman." Snarled Kyle, his face reddening. "You're such a conceited asshole about everything!"

"At least I'm not a fag!"

The words rung out into the stuffy air of the cupboard and Kyle froze above Cartman, not believing what he was hearing. What? How did Cartman find out? How did he know? Did he know that in some sick twisted way Kyle loved him? What was he going to do – exploit Kyle, tell everyone – it was obvious! Kyle bit his lip, maybe he doesn't know. Maybe it was just an insult Cartman thought of and he was completely over thinking it.

Still frozen he looked down at Cartman studying his expression. He knew Cartman couldn't see him, so he took this moment to analyse him. Cartman seemed more annoyed and puzzled at Kyle's silence than triumphant and Kyle let out a soft sigh in relief. It was just a coincidence. He shook his head smiling a little at the panic he just got himself wound into for nothing. Kyle's eyes flickered back to Cartman's face.

How can something so evil have such an angelic face? Kyle couldn't deny his obvious attraction towards Cartman. He just couldn't help but melt into a puddle when he saw Cartman's chocolaty brown swirls. I mean of course, when they meet his they always shone an evil glimmer. Which he couldn't stand but I guess their whole relationship is based upon a burning hatred of each over which made Kyle's love stronger. Kyle longed to kiss Cartman's lips, feel the soft yet passionate control Kyle had longed for since he was thirteen.

Of course, Kyle's longing gazes couldn't last forever.

"Dude." Cartman said blankly, making Kyle blink in surprise as his voice is usually laced in some sort of spite, "You're like, still straddling me. Can you erm, move off?"

Kyle blushed furiously, thanking god that Cartman couldn't see, and stumbled off. Of course, being in this cramped cupboard, Kyle was forced to sit squished in between the box of pencils from earlier and another plastic box full of smaller plastic boxes. Kyle's legs still had to rest on Cartman's however, who took up most the space. He felt Cartman heave his top half up, so he was comfortably sitting with his legs outstretched.

"Dude your skinny Jew legs are still on me." Cartman stated as if the teenage boy didn't know that. Cartman shook his legs up and down to try shake off the legs that were thrown over his. Although… to tell the truth Cartman didn't really mind. He sort of liked the way the Jew had casually strewn his legs over his as if it was nothing. He was just complaining because he knew it would anger Kyle – the way his cute little button nose scrunches up and his face blushes slightly is so adorable! Cartman finally caught up to his thinking and shut them away reddening, what was his problem?!

Meanwhile, Kyle scowled in annoyance before sarcastically replying. "Oh, I'm sorry that my legs are on you, I'll just move swiftly off them since we have all this SPACE! Look at all the SPACE we have Cartman; I can stretch out my whole body if I wanted too! Thanks for locking me in this bright cheerful SPACIOUS room Cartman! I really fucking appreciate it!" By the end Kyle's voice was so bitter even Cartman's face screwed up in a grimace. Kyle rolled his eyes when the other boy didn't respond, muttering. "Fat ass."

"Jew, being locked in here is just as much as your fault as mine!"

"Oh please Cartman! I wasn't the one who completely bullshitted his class to get his enemy in a fucking cupboard! And you left me here the whole afternoon! Do you know how stuffy it got in here?"

Cartman rolled his eyes before casually responding. "Whatever Jew, you survived."

"That's beside the point!"

Cartman nearly smiled in delight at the way his cute Jew boy was snarling his words with over dramatic pronunciation like he did every time he was irritated. He sighed; irritation seems to be the only emotion he could provoke out of the ginger Jew.

"Look, forgive and forget, yeah?" Cartman stated making Kyle let out a huff of air from his cheeks.

"Oh yeah, forgive and forget."

Cartman ignored the sarcasm in Kyle's voice and nodded, grinning. "Good."

It was silent for a moment. Cartman staring into darkness thinking of the fight he had with Stan earlier today and Kyle glancing in the boxes that surrounded him. The thought of being trapped in a burning dark room with Cartman was terrifying as well as hot to Kyle.

For a start, how did he know Cartman won't physically kill him with one of the sharp pencils in that cardboard box? It was quite possible and the dumb ass probably wouldn't hesitate in trying to do it. And it also seems the already tight space of the room had gotten tighter since Cartman entered. Both his fat ass and Kyle's emotions to Cartman making it seem this way.

But in some strange way the fear of staying in this cupboard had vanished from Kyle's mind completely. Kyle had some strange feeling that Cartman would protect him from anything that may happen. Which is ridiculous, Kyle sighed, because Cartman hates him and would start a Nazi camp with him being first to go in, if he could.

But yet he felt safe. Strange.

"How long do you think we will be in here?" Cartman asks suddenly, dragging Kyle out of his thoughts. Kyle blinked sleepily.

"Erm, I'm presuming when you came to get me it was the end of the day?"

Cartman nodded looking over at Kyle. He blinked, rubbing his eyes for a few seconds. Just as Kyle was about to answer his question he was interrupted. "Dude, I can sort of see you now."

Kyle nodded smiling. "Cool."

"Not really." Cartman disagreed with a smirk, "I have to see your ugly ginger self now."

Kyle shot him a dirty look but a smile was on his face. "Well, I've had to deal with looking at your fat ass for the past what? Forty minutes?"

Cartman glared, "Shut up Kahl! I'm totally all muscle now!"

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Sure, dude, whatever you say."

"I am, dumb ass Jew!" There was a pause, "But seriously how long do you think till someone comes?"

Kyle peeked over at Cartman curiously. "Why?" He asked slowly, suspiciously.

Cartman glared, crossing his arms protectively over his chest. "What? I'm just wondering. What's wrong with that? Nosy Jew. Always digging their big ass noses where they don't belong!"

Kyle scrunched his nose up in confusion about his ranty outburst when it clicked. "Cartman are you scared?"

"What?" Cartman instantly protested, his eyes darkening and his cheeks going pink, "No! Stupid Jew!"

Kyle smirked, "Are you sure Cartman?"

"Yes I'm fucking sure! Why would you even say that?" Cartman frowned, grumbling before repeating what he said earlier, "Stupid Jew."

Kyle rolled his eyes secretly. He was totally scared. "Don't worrie Cawtman, Kawyl's eer fow chu."

"Fuck you Kahl! I'm not scared!"

Kyle giggled under his breath. He leaned forward a little too pat Cartman's leg in mock sympathy. "Seriously Cartman, no need to worry. I wouldn't be scared – Stan is bound to come for me soon."

Cartman's face scrunched up in annoyance at the fact Kyle thought he was scared. Scared? Him! Yeah, whatever. He kicked Kyle's hand off his leg (causing Kyle to smile wider) and crossed his arms over his chest, huffing.

"I should have known your boyfriend would sweep in and save you." Cartman spat in revenge making the smile that was on Kyle's face to wipe off immediately. Kyle's eyes hardened.

"Stan isn't my boyfriend." He stated determined.

"Are you sure?" Cartman raised an eyebrow, smirking at the fact he had the upper hand now. "You two always…"

"Always what fat ass?"

Cartman grinned secretly – his Jew is so easily angered! "I don't know." Cartman shrugged, "I mean, everybody at school thinks you fuck secretly so..."

Kyle's fists clenched. "Fuck you! No they don't! I and Stan obviously don't do that!"

"I'm just saying. The way he defended you today when I locked you in the cupboard - it seems you two really do fuck."

"Shut up fat ass! Stan is my best friend of course he's going to try and stop you."

"Well, he doesn't get a detention for just anyone now, does he?"

Kyle, who had an angry retort at the tip of his tongue stopped himself suddenly, confused. "Wait what? Detention?"

"Oh yeah, your stupid hippie boyfriend attacked me when I didn't let you out." Cartman grumbled, before looking up smirking again. "Probably because he knew he wouldn't get a fuck till the end of the day if I didn't."

Kyle smiled at the thought of his friend defending him before what Cartman said registered. He glared. "For the last time fat ass, Stan isn't my boyfriend!"

"Hmm, I'm not so sure."

"He's not! That's just sick!" Cartman gave him a sceptical look making Kyle grit his teeth determined, "He goes out with Wendy anyway, fat ass!"

"Dodgy threesome?"

"Fuck you!"

"Well, don't shoot the messenger. I just think, like everybody else thinks, that you're gay for Stan."

"I am not gay for Stan!"

"But you_ are_ gay?"

"Of course fat ass but that's not the point!"

Kyle's angry face turned puzzled when he saw Cartman's jaw drop until he realized what he, himself had just said. Almost instantly his eyes widened dangerously and his hands clamped his mouth comically. Kyle dropped his gaze to the floor, his face burning with shame and fear.

Oh god. Oh fucking god. What has he just done? What was his problem? He was asking for it! He was practically asking for Cartman to taunt him and hurt him! He covered his face in his hands for a second before removing them slowly, massaging his face to try keeping him calm but he just couldn't. It was like his stomach suddenly didn't fit right and he had a horrible feeling in the centre like something was dropping. He felt his heart rate increase considerably. He hadn't even told Stan that he was gay and now Cartman knew?!

"You-you're gay." Cartman stated making Kyle blush more. He decided to stay silent. This was horrifying. Kyle's eyes prickled with tears which he tried his best to keep back. "You're a fag."

It was silent for a moment. Then Cartman started laughing.

"BAHAHAHAAHA! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! SHUT! UP!" Cartman started to roll over slightly, his stomach hurting from too much laughter. He knocked down a few empty boxes but neither he nor Kyle cared. Kyle was looking away from Cartman, concentrating on what seemed to be a load of old DVD's. "You're a queer! I should have known! Oh no! OH GOD! This is so funny!"

Kyle still stayed silent. Cartman didn't seem to mind Kyle's unresponsive attitude and carried on anyway.

"A JEW FAG! HAHAHA! This is fucking hysterical! As fucking if!"

"C-Cartman stop." Kyle muttered, his teeth clenched so he didn't cry. Now that would be awful. He can just imagine Cartman's face of joy if Kyle started to cry like a baby.

Cartman was laughing so hard that he didn't even hear Kyle's feeble attempt to stop him. "So who do you like Jew faggot? Kenny? Clyde? Token? BUTTERS! HAHAHAHA!"

"Cartman. P-please stop." Kyle felt himself get a little more confident now, however not enough to confront the bullying Nazi. He doesn't understand, Kyle thought distressed, what if he ever found out this 'Jew faggot' was in love with him? With this thought, Kyle felt a sudden urge of anger. This isn't fair! He didn't want to be this way!

"Kyle Broflovski. Gay. This is the best day of my life." Cartman uttered, his face a picture of pleasure.

Kyle scowled. "With the way you're acting I'd say _you_ were gay for _me_!"

"Maybe." The sincerity in the word that accidently blurted out of Cartman's mouth stunned both boys equally. Kyle's eyes widened again as Cartman tried back tracking what he said. "W-W-Well what I, err, meant was that erm, may-maybe if I was a, erm, disgusting f-fag like you then."

Kyle was still staring at Cartman as all humour drained from his face. He squirmed under Kyle's gaze which was strange as he was never uncomfortable with Kyle – unless his crush for him got in the way when they were too close.

"Cartman, are you gay?" Kyle asked straight out, unfazed by Cartman's surprised and frightened gasp.

"N-no. Of course not stupid fag Jew! It's your faggot germs! They got on me!"

"There is no such thing as faggot germs Cartman!" Kyle paused. "Are. You. Gay?"

Unbelievably a small ignite of hope had lit in Kyle's eyes as they glistened with unshed tears. What if Cartman was gay? Kyle couldn't express the happiness he would feel – but even to him it just didn't sound right.

"Gay? Me?" Cartman snorted, but Kyle noticed his hands were shaking a little. "N-no way dude. I-I wouldn't…I'm n-not…"

Kyle stared sternly at Cartman. "Spit it out Cartman!"

Cartman's face reddened when a new look crossed his face. "Stop changing the subject Kahl! What does it matter if I'm gay if _you're_ the FAGGOT?!"

Kyle looked at Cartman curiously. "So…you are gay, then?"

"Yes!" Cartman suddenly squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. "No! You fucking Jew getting in my mind! That's all you ever do you no good dirty Jew ginger!"

Kyle smiled, growing more confident. He felt like he was on a rollercoaster of emotions today. "But you still haven't answered my question, fat ass. Are you gay?"

"Fuck you Kahl, stop asking that!"

"Why?" Kyle asked innocently. "It's just a question of your sexuality."

Cartman's face reddened. "Don't look at me with those big innocent eyes, Kahl! I'm warning you!"

"Why not?"

Cartman turned even redder. "B-because they're really fucking distracting when you're asking such dumb ass questions!"

Kyle felt his heart flutter with Cartman's words, even if he wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not. Yet, he wasn't going to lose track on what they were talking about. If Cartman was gay, he might have a small ounce of a chance of actually getting together with him! I mean, there's no guarantee that Cartman could ever like him, but it's worth a shot at trying.

"Just answer the question fat ass!"

"Shut up goddamn Jew!"

"I just want to know!"

"I'm not a fag!"

"I don't believe you."

"Why not? Get it into your stupid ginger head!"

Kyle slumped back eventually, his legs slouching back onto Cartman's like there were before he got worked up and straightened them out. Slowly, all the hope drained from Kyle as he grumbled, "Fine, Cartman."

"Good Jew." Cartman praised, pleased as he too rested on the wall behind him like he was previously, "Can't be having anyone find out now, can we?"

"AHA!" In a blink of an eye Kyle was straightened out again, pointing an accusing finger at Cartman. A smug smile stretched out on his face, and hope glittered in his eyes at the thought of ever having a relationship with Cartman. "You just admitted it!"

"No I didn't." Cartman protested, even though he obviously so clearly did. Cartman was getting hot again, and pulled the collar of his shirt. "I think it must be this stuffy closet air getting to your head Kahl."

Kyle suddenly shifted, growing more confident now he knew Cartman's secret. He turned his small body slightly so he was hovering over Cartman. His head was next to the Nazi's stomach, flashing his eyes up with a grin.

"You're gay, Cartman. I knew it!"

"Fuck you Kahl."

Cartman was getting uncomfortable the way Kyle had positioned himself on top of him. The worst thing was, he was enjoying this. His little Jew acting like he was the prey. Cartman's cheeks blushed when he realized he had the urge to flip them over and be the one to look at his Kyle like that. Make him feels exposed and weak.

"Maybe."

Even Kyle was a little surprised at the forwardness of his words and actions. But he was enjoying this too much to stop – he had imagined this happening for years, playing it over and over in his head. He had created this scene time after time in all different scenarios and here it was. This was it. Except the fairy tale ending is that they kiss and sparks fly like in the cheesy novels and they walk out hand and hand.

Kyle knew it was ridiculous but if things have gotten this far then maybe it might actually happen!

Cartman spluttered, which shocked Kyle even further. Cartman is always such a confident cocky asshole and it was weird to see him so vulnerable. Then he did something even Kyle didn't think he would ever do.

He leaned him and kissed Cartman on his cheek.

The warmth of Kyle's lips going on Cartman's cheek was enough to set him off. Cartman grabbed his stupid Jew and crushed their lips together, desperately wanting more after waiting in the tension for so long. They fit just as Cartman imagined, like slots to a jigsaw puzzle but Kyle was unresponsive. Cartman, despite of Kyle's no-action-what-so-ever continued anyway. This felt too satisfying and good not to.

"Marman!" He heard the muffle of Kyle speaking against his lips and the vibrations of it tingled making Cartman hungrier for his precious lips. Leaning over Kyle now, slipping one hand under his silly green hat to clutch his hair and the other on the side of his cheek he guided Kyle to a comfortable position. Cartman couldn't get enough; it was like he was getting intoxicated with Kyle's warm smooth lips on his.

He flicked out his tongue, and felt Kyle squirm below him. He loved that! He loved the power he had over him. Cartman expressed his pleasure with a low growl. This was when Kyle felt the strength to push Cartman away. Cartman flew backwards as well as Kyle, and for the third time today Kyle fell into the box of pencils.

Panting, Kyle touched his wet lips hesitantly. He couldn't even smile – he was too shocked. What had just happened? Is he dreaming? Is this all some sort of hazy dream and he is actually sitting in English class imagining it all? But no, the 100 mile per hour heart beat rattling in his chest was real. The tingling he felt on his begging lips was real and the adrenalin he felt kicking through his veins was all real too.

He slowly sat up, blinking, to hear a voice shouting angrily. "DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Kyle eyes fluttered a he looked up to see a rumpled Cartman who had also fallen into a box, causing a bunch of books to tip over and smash onto his head from the shelf above. His hat had fallen off in the process of making out, and Kyle would have drooled at seeing Cartman's ruffled brown hair flop over his chocolate eyes if he hadn't been so confused.

"NO! Dude! You what the fuck!?"

"What do you mean?" Cartman asked as if oblivious to what had just happened.

Kyle stared at him like he was an alien. "You just kissed me!"

Cartman shrugged, before grinning wickedly. "Yeah I did. Pretty good, wasn't I?"

Kyle's jaw was nearly on the floor. "Dude…you just kissed me."

"Yes." Cartman repeatedly slowly, as if talking to a five year old. "I did just kiss you. And it was pretty damn good." Kyle stayed silent, staring at Cartman still. "Don't you think, Kahl?"

"B-but you kissed me."

Cartman furrowed his eyebrows, a lopsided smile on his face. "I thought you were gay?"

"I-I am." Kyle stuttered and Cartman frowned suddenly. His eyes darkened.

"You aren't seriously going out with that stupid hippie Stan are you because -"

"NO! No! No!" Kyle interrupted him, gaining confidence from the ridiculous false accusation. "We've gone over this!"

Cartman grinned, sliding his way other to Kyle. "Well that's good, my little Jew, because then I can have you all to myself."

Kyle laughed awkwardly, shuddering. He managed to let out a weak joke to try and lighten the tense mood. "Well, you've always been a greedy asshole, Cart-"

"Shut up." He growled, sweeping down and making Kyle do just that.

Okay, still Part 3 to go…if you even want to read it. To be fair, I do think I rushed this intensely however I couldn't help it. Sorry! I just love this couple! :3

Oh, and my counsellor said I shouldn't be on this site and posting storied blabla in case someone says something hurtful blablabla and it spoils all my therapy progress -_- Okay, sorry for the immature blablabla's but it is slightly annoying. So erm…try not to leave _too _much hurtful comments because then I'll probably get my therapist moaning at me again.

Thank you to the three that commented. I was seriously happy about that - and by 'happy' I mean jumping around yelling :D

Okay enough of me ranting, sorry .

d


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